2014 MINI Clubman Concept Is A Propa Gent

IMAGINE MY surprise when, sitting in a café in East London, the missus observed that I was the only man without a beard. Those that were follically-frivolous were all wearing brogues with contrasting socks. Dark grey would have been a bit old man-ish, for these are off-duty yuppies you understand, with jobs giving the means to express ideals unpatinated by time. Judging by the press shots of the Clubman concept, MINI considers them exemplars of customers, but that is not why I mention them here.

Hipsters have given arking an aesthetic. Arking, a term used by marketing folk (possibly that very same breakfasting crowd) to describe the effects of localism, a phenomenon common in recessions when we avoid the fancy, stick with the familiar, and eat sausages from our local butcher (for example). Our tastes become a little more conservative. We value family and traditions more, the craft movement a now-familiar spin-off. For a car maker these tastes become the bedrock for gauging the characteristics of the next product, and MINI need look no further than Shoreditch for their inspiration and aesthetic appropriation.

I would be surprised if a single one of the bearded breakfast club bought a MINI Clubman, though. They will prefer Oyster cards and renting a classic car for occasional weekends. The oldtimer may lend their quirks aesthetic credibility, but they will be missing out on a gutsy three-cylinder motor in a splendid body that makes the old one look positively clean-shaven. Check out the shoulder, see how wide it is, and be reminded of the BMW Z3M Coupe, which, incidentally, was designed by the same chap who did the outgoing Clubman. The chief designer behind the new one? Someone with a beard, of course.